While a course of celibacy throughout teenage years was employed as motivation increased to exercise and work out.
Thoughts of feeling of being addicted to exercise came about, as a realisation now of being addicted to this energy which was rising through me, as stretching and exercise in the gym helped this energy rise.
Now in my thirties a realisation dawned within how Gurus and Yogis advocate, to stretch to do yoga.
It helps this energy rise, this creative or sexual energy within.
You perceive this energy to be sexual, this is your first perception of it, but if you let it rise you will start to perceive it as emotional, or psychological or mental energy, it’s the same force or energy only you perceive it differently, through different parts of yourself.
As the celibacy process progressed throughout teenage years, a feeling to become more compassionate and generous ensued.
This journey of celibacy helps you realise how you are selfish, as you become selfless, and realise that is the only way, every other way has too many potential problems.
While finding people becoming more attracted to you , particularly those of the opposite sex as you become celibate.
Whereas as getting older and growing into my twenties, I found it more difficult to maintain celibacy, as there was a lot of change in my life, while starting to come into contact with members of the opposite sex more frequently.
While each time being in a rut, a thought came to be celibate, wherein after a few weeks of being celibate the heart came back to life and good feeling came into it.
Once a connection of love was felt, through the process of celibacy, it was easy to attract what was loved in life, while the celibacy process would intuitively bring ideas into my mind, as to how to attain what was loved.
Noticing how my social circle started to expand and how more people wanted to be in my company.
Where, as the journey of celibacy goes on, it helps you come up with solutions to problems, as it may be easy to focus on the solution to a problem and think that it is the be all and end all solution for everything.
Some ideas which intuitively came, while being celibate, was to bring more white light into my life to awaken me or help me focus on what was loved, because of feelings of depression, or to eat more fruit to bring great feelings of compassion into the heart, and yet for years thoughts that these were the solutions to aid me, within my life.
Not giving enough importance or presedence to the process of celibacy and all the exercising and stretching or emotional and mental work done in previous years.
Thinking that happiness came because of circumstances within one moment, not realising that it was a culmination of years of work.
Working on emotional, psychological, mental issues etc, while being celibate.
Your creative or sexual energy is like a force which rises up to make you deal with the suppressed traumas inside you.
2012 energetic changeover.
While as the Universal energy changed in 2012, something changed me inside, as if the Universe had reset itself within.
Feelings of being reset or brought down energetically.
Nothing worked, connections could not be made to anything, emotionally, mentally, spiritualy etc.
Eventually over a couple of years dreams had, would bring life back within, there to cement the idea of what was working in the past for one’s life.
Where sound was something which made a big difference, which was that which would really help to bring about balance, the vibrations, tones, pitches etc, really helped with headaches, depression, anxiety etc.
While differing frequencies, like solfegio frequencies helped, following on from such dreams a sense of being thought within, a dream teaching to be celibate presenting the colour orange, to aid in the healing or balancing process within the creative force..
This dream shone a bright orange light which came closer within, while sensing an element of creativity within the dream..
Drawing an associated to this dream with the sacral chakra in India, with creativity and sexuality, a journey started, whereby an interest was taken, in the idea of being celibate again.
And yet whereas an awakening process occured, a realisation dawned how the old ideas associated with spiritualitty, eating more fruit, getting more light etc.
These ideas didn’t work this time, as a thought of the reason they didn’t work was because of being conscious of how this process could benefit me, as it had happened before.
Wherein being conscious of how they could be influenced to benefit one’s life, and embracing light or fruit was actually selfish in this instance.
This process of celibacy is about letting go, so you can’t have knowledge of how you are going to benefit from these practices associated with celibacy.
The more you know or the more influence you have over these perceived forces the worse it is going to be on you in the long run, while trying to let go.
It’s not about eating more fruit or getting more light, doing all these tricks to try and awaken ourselves, we won’t.
If we think we can influence the spiritual energies in some way, we’re only making it worse.
Your mental and emotional energy etc, is stopping this celibacy process from rising and you need to learn to let go.