I was celibate throughout my teenage years, and it motivated me to go to the gym.
I thought I was addicted to the gym, but I now realise I was addicted to this energy which was rising through me, and stretching and exercise in the gym helped this energy rise.
Now in my thirties I’m realising that is what Gurus and yogis advocate, to stretch to do yoga.
It helps this energy rise, this creative or sexual energy inside you.
You perceive this energy to be sexual, this is your first perception of it. But if you let it rise you will start to perceive it as emotional, or psychological or mental energy, it’s the same force or energy only you perceive it differently, through different parts of yourself.
As I was celibate, throughout my teenage years I became more compassionate and generous.
This journey of celibacy helps you realise how you are selfish, you become selfless, and realise that is the only way, every other way has too many potential problems.
You’ll find people become more attracted to you, particularly those of the opposite sex as you become celibate.
But as I got older and grew into my twenties, I found it more difficult to become celibate.
As there was a lot of change in my life, and I started to come into contact with members of the opposite sex more often.
But every time I was in a rut, I always thought to be celibate, and after a few weeks of being celibate I found my heart coming back to life and good feeling coming into it.
Once I could connect to what I loved through the process of celibacy, I could attract what I loved into my life, or the celibacy process would intuitively bring ideas into my head as to how I could attain what I loved.
I noticed that my social circle started to expand and more people wanted to be in my company.
So as the journey of celibacy goes on, it helps you come up with solutions to problems and its easy to focus on the solution to a problem and think that it is the be all and end all solution for everything.
Some ideas I intuitively came to while being celibate, was to bring more white light into my life to awaken me or help me focus on what I loved because I was depressed, or eat more fruit to bring great feelings of compassion into my heart, and for years I thought that these were the solutions to helping my life.
Not giving enough importance or presedence to the process of celibacy and all the exercising and stretching or emotional and mental work done in previous years.
I had thought that happiness came because of circumstances within one moment, not realising that it is a culmination of years of work.
Working on emotional, psychological, mental issues etc, while being celibate.
Your creative or sexual energy is like a force which rises up to make you deal with the suppressed traumas inside you.
2012 energetic changeover.
But something then happened me as the universal energy changed in 2012, it was as if the universe reset itself.
I was reset or brought to the bottom energetically.
Nothing worked for me, I couldn’t connect to anything, emotionally, mentally, spiritualy etc.
Eventually over a couple of years my dreams brought me back to life, and cemented in me the idea of what was working for me in the past.
Sound was one thing, which really helped me balance myslef, the vibrations, tones, pitches etc, really helped me with headaches, depression, anxiety etc.
Different frequencies, like solfegio frequencies helped me, and the next thing which my dreams thought me, which helped me was to be celibate and that there was a healing or balancing process within my creative force.
The dream I had was about an orange light which came closer to me, and their was an element of creativity within the dream.
I associated this dream with the sacral chakra in India, with creativity and sexuality and started to take an interest in the idea of celibacy again.
But as I was awakening, I realised that the old ideas I associated with spiritualitty, eating more fruit, getting more light etc.
That those ideas didn’t work this time, and I think the reason they didn’t work was because I was conscious of how I could benefit from them or I could see how I could influence them to better myself, and embracing light or fruit was actually then selfish.
This process of celibacy is about letting go, so you can’t have knowledge of how you are going to benefit from these practices associated with celibacy.
The more you know or the more influence you have over these perceived forces the worse it is going to be on you in the long run, while trying to let go.
It’s not about eating more fruit or getting more light, doing all these tricks to try and awaken ourselves, we won’t.
If we think we can influence the spiritual energies in some way, we’re only making it worse.
Your mental and emotional energy etc, is stopping this celibacy process form happening and you need to learn to let go.